


It's hard to leave when I haven't said goodbye.

by nupoxsi



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Wives No Kids, Angst with a Happy Ending, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 06:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nupoxsi/pseuds/nupoxsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mario is set to leave Bayern after years of being with the club.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's hard to leave when I haven't said goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I write stuff. In fact, I barely even finish a story anymore. But I felt kind of inspired yesterday, a bit emotional over these transfers, and well, this wrote itself.  
> All my love goes to my beta [Daisy](http://goretzkas.tumblr.com/), thanks a lot, girl. And I want to kind of dedicate this to [Aramish](http://aramishbadboystuber.tumblr.com/) because she was one of the firsts Müllez shippers I had the pleasure to meet.  
> Title is taken from a River Song quote.  
> Well, sort of.
> 
>  
> 
>   _Disclaimer: This never happened. At least not that I'm aware of._

 

 

 

** Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez to join Fiorentina **

_ "Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez is to leave the Champions League winners and join Fiorentina. _  
_The fee for the 27-year-old's transfer has not been revealed but reports say the Italian club will pay up to £17.2m._  
 _"It was Mario Gomez's wish to leave Bayern Munich for Fiorentina," Bayern's chief executive Karl-Heinz Rummenigge told the German club's website."_

-[BBC Sport](http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23227640).

*    *    * 

 

The news were everywhere. It had been incredibly fast how they had spread from Twitter to every single news channel Mario found on TV. He didn't want to imagine what Sport channels must be saying about him at the moment.

Mario was resting on the couch in his house when his phone started to buzz inside his pocket. He quickly read it, the look on his face changing to a nostalgic one. It was from Bastian. The text read the direction to a restaurant Mario was familiar with, along with the words, _«Thomas is here too.»_ He stood from the couch and made his way to his bedroom, where he found a white V neck t-shirt inside his closet. Mario took off the green comfy sweater he was wearing, and put on that t-shirt.

Although Mario was aware he was presentable, he checked his reflection on the mirror a few times. Things were going up and down inside his head; the thoughts wouldn't leave him alone not even for one minute, it seemed. He tried to smile nicely at his reflection, something he was used to do, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, only a sad smile plastered on his face. He tried fixing his hair a few times before deciding he was done. There wasn’t much he could do. Mario headed to the kitchen, where the car's keys were hanging from a wooden key holder. He grabbed them, eyeing the place to make sure everything was in order. While looking around, he heard a noise that vaguely resembled static and noticed the TV was still on. Mario moved closer and turned it off with a soft click of a button.

 

With no more hesitation, Mario grabbed a black cotton sweater from the coat rack and threw it on his left shoulder. Mario stepped outside, closing the door behind him and walking towards his car.

Mario drove, the music from the radio allowing him to put aside for a second the thought that it might be one of the last times he went to the restaurant. He was about to change the station when the radio station started to play a Rihanna song. Instead of following through with his plans, he turned the volume up and sang along to the tune. He was already slowing the car down into the parking lot in less than 15 minutes. He eyed cars he was familiar with, and a warm feel spread across his chest.

The cold breeze pushed his hair backwards, making him run a hand through his hair so he could shape it as it was before. Even though he couldn't, it looked well enough. Mario grabbed the sweater he had thrown into the passenger seat, and put it on as he stepped outside the car. It wasn't that cold, though, but it matched the t-shirt he was wearing. He closed the car's door and sighed, making his way into the restaurant.

 

He quickly spotted some of his teammates, _his friends_ , seated in front of a large table, a couple of beers already on the table. Mario got closer, and as he pulled the chair that was next to Thomas towards himself, he felt several gazes fall on him.

"You're here," Bastian said with a smile on his face. Before Mario could either sit or reply, Bastian stood from his spot and walked towards Mario, pulling him into a tight hug. Mario wrapped his arms around Bastian's shoulders, holding him back. "Thought you were not coming," he murmured, "you did not reply to the text."

"I forgot, Basti," Mario admitted. Bastian let of go him almost an instant later, but did not return to his chair before patting his back.

 

He took hold of Thomas' chair, waiting for him to stand up and greet him, but it never happened. Thomas only looked at him and grinned sadly at him, before turning to take a sip from the beer in his hands. Toni and Holger also stood from their seats to hug Mario, and as soon as they let go of him, Mario sat beside Thomas. Manu and Philipp greeted him, they were sat right in front of Mario, so Mario nodded at them both and mumbled a small, “Hello.”

It was a relief they weren't speaking about the transfer when he arrived, and he kind of hoped no one brought up that subject at least until the end of the night. Manuel and Bastian were chatting about a TV show, Holger eventually contributing to the conversation, while Toni and Philipp discussed FIFA and PES. Mario began to eye the menu, and slowly passed an arm around Thomas' shoulders.

"How are you?" Mario asked him, his eyes running up and down the list of pastas, but his gaze swiftly falling on the salads section.

"Hmmm," Thomas just mumbled, the beer pressed against his lips. The usual cheerful energy Thomas had was now gone, replaced by a strange quietness.

 

 

_"You would tell me if you knew, wouldn't you?" Thomas asks him narrowing his eyes._

  
_"Of course I would, do you even doubt it?" Mario smiles, dragging Thomas by his collar so their faces are only inches apart now. "You would be the first to know," Mario says sweetly as he finally moves closer and closes the distance between them, his lips softly brushing Thomas' as he pulls him into a kiss._

Mario cannot help but feel guilty as he eyed Thomas for a third time in five minutes. He guessed Thomas would be mad at him, with all the reasons he should have. "Have you ordered something already?" Mario bit his lip nervously while looking at Thomas.

"Yes," he carelessly replied. Mario was about to take the arm from Thomas' shoulders, thinking he wouldn't want the proximity, but when he was beginning to move it, Thomas directed a confused look at him. Mario shifted in his chair, as if trying to conceal what he meant to do. "I ordered a pizza, and so did Basti," Thomas informed him, "I think Philipp asked for a spaghetti instead. Hm, and Holgi and Toni will be sharing a banana split."

"Ice cream for dinner?" Mario tried to chuckle as he normally would, but it came out as a cough.

"I said the same thing." Thomas raised a brow while taking a sip from his beer. Mario grinned at him, but Thomas just avoided to look at his face, despite not wanting him to back off.

  
Soon the waitress, a girl in her 20s, brownish hair, tall, and all smiley brought the banana split to their table, informing them the pizza and the pasta would take another few minutes. She stood next to Mario to take the menu away from him, and take his order. Mario looked at her nicely, handing her the cart. He asked for a chicken Caesar salad and a bottle of water. Thomas asked for another beer to himself.

 

 

_"I think I'm staying," Mario informs Thomas, the look in his eyes brightens a bit. "My agent said Bayern told him they would like to keep me."_

_"But," Thomas mumbles, protesting, the smile wiping away from his face. "Do you want to stay?"_

_Mario smiles. I want to play, he thinks to himself. "Yes, of course I do," he says. It wasn't meant to be a lie, but Mario knows what is most likely to happen if he stays at Bayern. He loves it, the bond he has with his teammates is unique, he has worn Bayern's jersey for a long time now, and he has grown to love it as if he had been playing there since his youth._

_"I'm glad to hear that," Thomas admits, his arms wrapping around Mario's neck. Their foreheads touch, Thomas' eyes are looking directly into his own. "I want you to never go away."_

_Mario wants to say he won't go, but instead he places a tender kiss on Thomas' cheek and pulls him into a hug. The words get stuck in his throat._

Mario found himself looking absently into the napkin that lay in front of him, his back pressed fully against the chair. Bastian's voice took him by surprise and he actually had to shake his head a few times before being fully aware.

"Dude, are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, I got lost into my own thoughts," Mario sighed, sitting a bit straighter into his seat. "What were you saying?"

"You gotta try focaccia as soon as you arrive," Bastian said, his eyebrows raising as he laughed softly.

"Yeah man, I do." Mario had already tried it, to be honest, but he didn't feel like speaking about Italy right away, so he just decided to head the conversation into another direction. "Did you see Poldi's picture?"

"With Rihanna?" Basti seemed to catch on quickly. "I know, that lucky bastard."

"He texted me when he was with her," Holger chipped in. "I told him to ask her for an autograph for me, but he sent me a smiley face in reply."

"Usual Poldi," Bastian laughed.

"How did he even get to meet her? I've been to two of her concerts and I couldn't manage to even shake her hand, and Poldi is hugging her as he knew her since forever," Mario said it all a bit too fast, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He knew Bastian would know something about it. The waitress came back with all of their plates, accompanied by another waitress, a blond rather short one, handing them to each of them.

"Yes, I know, right?" Bastian took the plate from the shorter lady, thanking her with a warm smile. "He said to me she even gave him her number. I think they became friends, did he tell you she invited him to a party the day after the concert?" Mario shook his head no, and Bastian took it as a green light to tell them all what Lukas had told him. He even showed more pictures, passing the phone to both Holger and Mario.

 

Mario could tell the story was going to be rather long, so he gently took the arm away from Thomas' shoulders. The brown haired waitress placed the Caesar salad in front of him, and Thomas' pizza on the table as well. They both thanked her before she went to bring their drinks.

"Bon appetite," Mario muttered looking at Thomas, who only nodded.

Bastian kept on telling the story of how Poldi got into a Rihanna concert in first place, due to the fact he wasn't that much of a Rihanna fan. Mario nodded while eating, letting him know he was indeed paying attention but focussing on eating. He heard Philipp and Holger talking about dogs.

The rest of their meal went practically like that. Mario would talk with his friends about nothing in particular, and Thomas kept most of the time silent, except for a few times he'd intervene in the conversations. It was obvious for almost all of them that something was off with Thomas, because he was hardly quiet, precisely when they were enjoying a meal together.

"Are you going to miss Munich?" Toni suddenly asked, catching Mario off guard. For a second he struggled to give an answer, but he swallowed a mouthful of water and cleared his throat.

"Yes," was his sincere reply.

"What about us?" Thomas' voice was quivering, and Mario felt his heart on his throat as Thomas asked the question. "Are you going to miss us?" Toni looked around nervously, grabbing a spoon full of ice cream and trying to shake the awkward feeling away, Mario could tell.

"An awful lot," he replied. The look on Thomas' face didn't change, though, he still looked like he was about to cry. Mario wanted to make him happy, but he knew it wouldn't be possible. At least not now. Mario noticed one of Thomas' hands underneath the table, and he couldn't help but take it in his own without giving it much of a thought. "I mean it," Mario whispered only loud enough for Thomas to hear, also giving his hand a light squeeze.

Just when Gomez was about to pull away, Thomas kept his hand still, lacing their fingers together under the table. It brought a sincere smile to Mario's face, involuntary, if it could be described.

 

 

_"Fiorentina have a lot of interest in you, Mario," Uli informs him. Mario is standing on the balcony, pressing firmly the phone against his ear. He swallows hard, waiting for his agent to keep him informed. "They are promising you a lot of things. A place in the squad is one of them."_

_Mario shifts. This is what he wanted, what he was lacking at Bayern. "Are you certain?"_

_"I wouldn't lie to you about this, this is a good deal." Mario knows he can trust Uli in this, but he needs to be sure. "I can look more into it if you want me to, to see if there is something else they can add to the terms they gave me, or..." Uli sounds unsure, and he sighs."Do you want me to turn off the offer?"_

_"No, don't," Mario quickly says. "Just... do what you have to do."_

 

_He hopes Uli knows what he means_

 

 

Thomas asked for dessert, a chocolate mousse. Bastian, on the other hand, picked a fruit salad. Mario had to genuinely chuckle when he noticed Holger and Toni ordered another banana split, as dessert, this time. Mario shook his head, he was definitely going to miss the guys. He didn't want to give much thought into it, his heart dropped a bit when he remembered he wouldn't be able to share these little moments with them anymore. Mario let go of Thomas, folding his arms on his chest and moving his legs nervously.

When the desserts arrived to their table, Thomas brought the mousse closer to Mario, who just furrowed his brows in return.

"Eat," Thomas said, a tiny trace of a smile on his face. Mario was about to refuse, he knew how much Thomas liked chocolate (or well, any kind of food), but Thomas shoved a spoon into the palm of his hand. "Just eat it."

Mario did as told.

 

They all finished their respective desserts in a few minutes. Mario could noticed his friends laughing at them, and he guessed it must be because Thomas didn't share food, or at least not so often.

Mario was looking for his wallet when Bastian raised a finger at him. "I'm paying," he smiled nicely at Mario. "You don't need to..." Mario mumbled a thank you in return and gave Thomas a look. He was licking the spoon clear, still trying to reach spots in the cup with chocolate. Mario found himself grinning; Thomas was like a kid sometimes.

Mario stood from his chair, stretching a bit. Thomas mimed him, and so the rest of the group. Mario felt an arm clenching tightly around his shoulders. Manuel was standing next to him, a silly smile on his face. "You are awesome," he said. "You're going to do just fine." Mario forced a smile and patted him on his back. "You're still coming to training tomorrow, aren't you?" Manuel asked. Mario nodded, he wasn't certain if he would, but he definitely wanted to.

The others also came to say goodbye as they exited the restaurant and headed to the parking lot. Mario hugged them, when they got closer to say goodbye, and softly murmured a thanks into Bastian's ear while he passed his arms around Bastian's back. Each of them were making their way to their respective cars, but Thomas stood next to him. Mario was fast enough to catch Thomas' wrist. He impeded him to keep on walking, a questioning look staring at him. "Let's go to my place," Mario said to him. For a second he feared Thomas would say no, but after a moment he nodded.

 

 

_Mario eyes Uli sitting in the back of the café. He makes his way, dodging the tables and stands right in front of his agent. Uli is holding a cup of coffee, and he looks up to greet Mario. "Please, do take a seat," he says. Mario nods and sits in front of him, folding his hands above the table._

_"So."_

_"So what?" Uli takes a gulp from his coffee and places it back on the table. "It's done."_

_Mario nods in return. It's done._

_"When will the club be announcing it?" Mario asks._

_"Well, the press kind of knows what's going on. They've been on my heels lately, but there are also a lot of rumours," Uli observes. "I think by... Monday morning they'd be confirming the transfer." Mario wants to tell him it is too soon, but he doesn't. He looks at his hands and then back at Uli. "If that's fine by you."_

_"Yeah..." Mario says heavily. He runs a hand down his face and sighs deeply for a second._

_"You can tell whomever you want to, though. I think your teammates would like to know." Uli's being flexible, he takes another sip of his coffee and looks at Mario with a grin on his face._

_Mario sighs. "Thanks, Uli," he says as he shakes Uli's hand._

_Mario walks over to his car. He starts it and turns the radio on out of habit. He takes a look around and takes the phone out of his pocket. For a second he wonders what to say, a thousand ideas crossing his head. He had promised it, but he can't find the words to say it. Instead, he sends Thomas a smiley face with a heart, and feels like an idiot almost immediately._

 

_Mario tosses the phone to the passenger seat and drives away._

 

 

He parked the car into the garage, quickly getting out of the car in time to welcome Thomas to his house. Mario thought it was kind of funny, actually, how he always liked to welcome Thomas to his house even when Thomas practically knew the apartment as well as he did. Mario saw how Thomas parked next to him, and got off the car. It wasn't until Thomas was beside Mario that he decided to finally go to the front door. Thomas looked beautiful, despite the blank look on his face. His eyes looked a bit greyer than usual, and a certain flush on his cheeks.

They entered the house, Mario headed for the kitchen to place back the keys while Thomas went to the living room instead. Mario grabbed one beer from the fridge and went back to room.

"You know," Thomas said looking at him when he sat on the couch beside him. "Bastian was the one who told me. He sent a text saying I should turn the TV on, so I did." Thomas' words made Mario feel bad all over again. Mario handed him the beer, Thomas accepted it kindly and let his head fall on the seat backrest. "Italy is pretty."

"Indeed, it is," Mario agrees. He closes his eyes for a second, letting go a deep sigh. "Not as beautiful as Germany, though."

 

Almost inevitably, silence fell in the room. For a moment Mario thought about turning the TV on, but immediately drop the idea as he heard Thomas clear his throat.

 

"You should have told me," Thomas finally said. It was something Mario had been waiting, for the bomb to drop.

"I know."

"When did you take the decision?"

Mario could lie about it, it would’ve been a lot easier to just tell Thomas he took the decision a few days back. But he didn’t. "Last week," he admitted. "We had been in touch with Fiorentina for...about two months." He turned his head to look at Thomas. It was hard to read his expression, he wished he could read Thomas’ mind for a second. “Thomas, I know you’re mad at me for-”

"I’m not mad at you," Thomas interrupted. "I’m not-..I’m not mad, Mario." The look on his face softened, Thomas moved the beer to the table, his now free hand moving to Mario’s arm. "I’m just sad you’re leaving, Mario," Thomas said with a sincere tone. "But I understand why you're doing it. I understand why you wanted to leave back when I looked at your face after winning the treble," he took a pause and continued speaking, "that's why I'm telling you, you should have told me."

"I thought you didn't want me to go."

"I don't," Thomas gave a sad chuckle, "God, no, if I could, I-," Mario saw how Thomas' eyes were slowly filling with water, the grey colour brightening. "But I can't. And it's the best for you. I'm happy for you, Mario."

"Are you?" Mario asked, a sad smile on his face.

"I am," Thomas laughed and a tear ran down his face. "Seriously, I am happy for you, because you're going to be the best striker in there and you're going to shine and hopefully you will even score a lot of goals and-"

Mario couldn't help himself and leaned in, sealing Thomas' lips with his own. He immediately returned the kiss, and Mario felt how the hand clenching on his arm was now tighter than it had been before. He was going to miss Thomas more than anyone else. In these past four years he had grown used to having him around, in every aspect. He was going to miss his laugh, his silly gestures, the warmth of his body pressed next to him in the night. It was almost impossible for Mario to enumerate all the things he was going to miss about Thomas. He broke the kiss, both of them looking for air.

 

"When are you leaving?"

"This Friday," Mario offered. "Uli wanted me to go tomorrow, but I need to say goodbye to everyone. I'm going to training tomorrow, and it's-"

"Your birthday this Wednesday, I know."

"Yeah, it will be more like a goodbye dinner than a happy birthday for me," Mario said closing his eyes for a second.

When he opened them Thomas had passed his arms around Mario's neck, and pulled him into a hug. Mario didn't think twice and wrapped his arms around Thomas' torso, pulling him closer. He buried his head on the crook of Thomas' neck, breathing deeply.

 

 

_"What if we had to be apart?" Thomas asks, an arm placed on top of his naked chest._

_"Well, thankfully, we don't have to," Mario replies, feeling how two of Thomas' fingers start to run up and down his abs._

_"But what if," he insists, "I mean, we could have a tremendous fight, or maybe we could just stop speaking to each other, or what if one of us actually had to leave Bay-"_

_"We could die tomorrow, Thomas," Mario cuts him off, not really wanting to talk about it. Nothing is certain yet, and it wouldn't do any good for him nor Thomas to think too much into it. "Life is full of «what if» situations, so don't overthink about what could happen in the future," Mario says and takes Thomas' hand in his own. "I am here, right now."_

_"So am I," and Mario looks at his face, his eyes bright and a sincere smile that makes his heart race. He places his hand on Thomas' jaw and  lifts his head up. Mario presses his mouth against Thomas', feeling how a smile forms on Thomas' mouth as he begins to kiss him._

_"I love you," Mario murmurs in between the kiss."You know?"_

_"Yes, I do." Thomas chuckles._

 

"I love you, you know?" Thomas softly said, his hands clenching to the cotton of his sweater.

Mario knew.

 

He hugged Thomas tighter and only wished they could enjoy moments like those for a bit longer.

 


End file.
